The Pocket Protector: Why Everyone Should Wear One

It was a night like almost every other: The family was seated around the table, enjoying a meal and trying to out-funny one another. Dad began to laugh over some comment that was made, and because he was just recovering from a cold, he also began to cough, which went unnoticed amid the entire hubbub that was the evening meal. He did get everyone’s attention, though, when he slumped over in his chair.

`Thinking it was another of his little jokes, mom nudged his arm and rolling her eyes said, “Oh, Dee...”

No response. “Dee?!” the panic beginning to rise in her voice as she shook him. Alarmed, she began to shout, “Somebody do something!”

I was too young to really understand what was going on and looked to Ken whose face was ashen. Curt was frozen in place, and I became sure that my dad had, in fact, died right there at the dinner table. The only one who seemed capable of any action was Ray who sprang to his feet and maneuvered behind our father. Dad was a big man and it was not easy for Ray to get his arms all the way around him to perform the Heimlich correctly, and Dad did not help as he was completely unconscious. With Dad’s head resting on his own chest, Ray heaved and squeezed as best he could. This action did not dislodge any food, but it did force a pen from Dad’s pocket protector to jab him furiously in the neck.

Immediately he came to with, “What the hell are you doing?!”

It was not the hero’s salutation that Ray had expected. More precisely, he was a little put out with the lack of appreciation. “I just saved your life!” he grunted. Ray may credit himself for Dad’s recovery that night, but I think Dad knew something all along: You just never know when a pocket protector will come in handy.