The Day I Taught Mr. Wind a Lesson

We have these weird weather phenomenons in Arizona called microbursts. At least that's what people call them. I'm no meteorologist, but I do know they're kind of like a bad house guest. They barge in without much warning, blow stuff all over the place, rain on your parade a little bit, and just as suddenly are gone without so much as a "how you do?" Yesterday one of them sunk all four of my pool lounge chairs in the deep end of my swimming pool. See what I mean? Thoughtless.

Today when the weather picked up, I was on the phone with a friend and looked out the back window to see my pool umbrella blowing across the deck and lodging between the wall and the loungers. It looked as if it was ready to snap. I hung up quickly and ran outside with Griffin hard on my heels. The wind whipped my hair into my eyes and mouth and roared in my ears. I don't like wind. He's kind of rude.

I finally reached the umbrella and grabbed it without really thinking things through. Suddenly I found the open umbrella acting as a sort of parachute, dragging me backward toward the pool. Screaming and struggling for balance, I realized that it needed to be closed immediately. As I attempted to hold the weight of the umbrella with one hand, the wind shifted slightly and the metal bar hit me in the head. I think I might have cursed. Meanwhile, with my right hand, I grasped the handle and began to turn when the wind suddenly changed directions again and the umbrella crashed shut, the closing mechanism gashing both sides of my left thumb and cutting my pinkie finger. I don't think I cursed since it hurt so badly I couldn't breathe, let alone talk. Finally, with Griffin's help, I managed to get the dadgummed thing back in its stand without bleeding all over it too badly.

Later, after Neosporin and Band-aids had been applied, Griffin said, "Mom, the wind wants to say it's sorry for hurting you."

"Oh, really?" I countered, jokingly. "Well, you can go ahead and tell the wind that I'm not forgiving him because my hand is still hurting."

He surprised me when he quickly walked over to the sliding glass door, opened it, and yelled, "She doesn't forgive you!"

Ha! Take that Mister Wind! I'm not just somebody you can push around...well, on second thought I guess you can, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.