Hey Paula, I Feel Sick

I am sorry to be posting about this again. I'm sure it is not even worth the ink--make that cyberspace--but I've got to get this off my chest. I promise this will be the last time, although I had my fingers crossed as I typed that. (A very difficult thing to do, by the way.)

Okay, my guilty pleasure of the last month or so has been watching "Hey Paula" which was accidental to begin with due to my avoidance issues that I have blogged about before. Anyway, what began as a guilty pleasure soon became a semi-scientific study of odd and narcissistic human behavior that makes me emotionally sick and grateful at the same time.

Here's why: It is sad to see an adult with the emotional maturity of a 15 year old. While she is busy lamenting that people "don't treat her like the gift she is," I pity her, and what I would really like to do is shake her and say, "You are destined to be miserable if you do not get with the program." Then I'd like to whisk her away from Tinseltown and train her how to live like a normal person. She can do her own packing ("Where are my sweatpants?!"), her own cooking ("I'm so hungry! M&M's..nah...I just need something to eat...No that doesn't look good. I'm starving! How dare you offer me that nasty gift basket!"), her own houscleaning (Maid, doggy pooped again! When you get that cleaned up, come here and I'll hug you."), her own decorating ("No painted bird cages in MY bedroom!!")...In short, she can learn to be responsible for her own little self, like normal grown up people do. I think this dose of reality would do a great deal to give her some empathy, some personal responsibility, and some much needed perspective. Who knows? She might end up learning to string complete sentences together. (Okay, that was downright catty! Sorry. But you have to admit that she don't talk too good, does she?)

Did you see when she stood her decorator up, never once met with her, turned the whole project over to someone else, and then turned her nose up (and I mean that literally) at the final product, a place, by the way, where most people would LOVE to live if only they could afford it? It totally came off was rude and spoiled. And this is only one example of many. I'm sorry to say this, but she deserved to trip over her dog. It's called karma. (Now, is that mean or simply an observation? I can't tell.)

Normal life-d people don't act like that as a general rule. They don't keep others waiting for hours. They take responsibility for their own choices. They don't depend on everyone else to cater to them and then throw a fit when their desired wishes aren't met by someone who can't read their mind. (Surprise!) Or if they do, they can't get away with it very long because they don't have enough cash to pay people to put up with their BS. You know, it's true what they say: Celebrities lives are not like ours, and for that I am truly grateful.

Ultimately, my final semi-scientific thesis is this: When life revolves around you, and you are surrounded by people who are not interested in telling you the truth, but rather sponging off of your success, life becomes very small, even when you are living big. Thank you, Lord, for my tiny, little tea party of a world. Frankly, I wouldn't trade places with a big life-d person for anything.