Saturday, August 25, 2007

I Now Pronounce You...Complete Strangers to Us

I generally enjoy wedding announcements and invitations. We have been getting a lot of them, and it's fun to see with whom some of our favorite kids ended up picking to spend the rest of their lives. Sometimes I think the layouts and photos are subtle and elegant. Sometimes they are cheesy, and sometimes, like yesterday, this happens: "Do you know who these people are?"

Thomas hands me a wedding announcement, and I give it a once over, then a twice over. "I have never seen these people before in my life."

Then we stand there, heads together, squinting at the photo, perusing the return address. None of the names are familiar, and the closest I can get to placing either of them is that the groom looks freakishly a lot like a nephew of mine.

"It must be one of your students," Thomas concludes.

"No, it isn't. I have never seen either of them before. Names I forget, but I'm great with faces."

"They were married on a beach in Malibu. Sounds like something your private school kids would do."

"I am telling you, I do not know these people. Besides, how would they know our address in Arizona? And why does it have to be someone I know? You're the one with a million cousins you've never met. Remember your cousin who called asking to stay at our house when they were in town, and you didn't know who she was? It's probably someone in your family."

More perusing, more squinting. Now we're flipping it over, double checking inside the envelope, looking for any possible clue.

"It's a girl's handwriting--"

"That doesn't mean anything. The girl always end up doing all the addressing."

"I don't know anyone with the last name of Hampton. He's definitely not related to me."

"Do you know anyone with a daughter named April?"

"I don't think so..."

"Me either...It's a shame that wedding dress doesn't fit better. And I think the bare feet was a mistake. He doesn't have great feet."

"Hmmm..."

"Yeah. No, we don't know these people."

"I guess that means we're not sending a gift?"

Interestingly this is the announcement I'm most likely to never forget.

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