Every day: My little piggies went to the market--AND APPARENTLY ATE EVERYTHING IN SIGHT! I can not wear the majority of my shoes because my feet are so swollen. I know. I know. Pregnancy can make your feet bigger--FOREVER! But I am not ready to say goodbye to some really cute shoes. I hope they return to normal.
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Two days ago: After I had dropped the kids at school and was on my way to the dog groomer's, Griffin and I pass an intersection with a lot of construction going on, which is like catnip to my 5 year old boy. He unbuckles to get a better view, and as I'm turning the corner and telling him to get his hiney back into his seat, what do I see behind me? Oh, yeah. The flashing lights.
Wanna' know what's worse? When the officer asks for my license I find that I don't have it. Then I remember it's sitting on my bathroom counter. Oops...
Wanna' know what's really embarrassing? When you say to the police officer that you were just telling your son to sit back down, and say, "Didn't I, Griff?" To which your son responds with a vehement, "No."
After further questioning between just the two of us, Griff confessed that he thought he might be going to jail. I suppose that fear could make anyone lie just a little, but still. Mama could have used a little back up, son!
Wanna' know what's really irritating? When the overly jovial policeman comes back to the car and says, "Well! I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?" Ugh. To which I respond, "I don't care." I may have to pull over, but I do not have to play ridiculous games.
Wanna' know that bad news? I got two citations. One for a minor unrestrained and another for having no license with me. Oh. And the "good news" he was so excited to share with me? It wasn't going to be a criminal offense. Because I didn't have my license he could "take me in, fingerprint me, and hold me until...blah blah blah" somewhere in there I stopped listening because all I could think was, "Oh, yeah. Take me, my five year old, my poodle, and my minivan down to the station, please. Because I'd love to see and all your cop buddies laugh their heads off."
Wanna' know what makes me feel really proud? I didn't cry until he left.
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A week ago: I had to be fitted for a new bra as my cups were running over, so to speak. After the woman measured me, I was shocked to hear her say, "Well, it looks like you are a G..."
After she revived me from my panic induced faint, triple D sounded quite reasonable. So now I am the proud owner of a brand new triple D minimizing bra, but apparently the minimizing portion is not working because just a couple of days ago a woman commented that I'm "really blossoming" while motioning to her chest. Boobs are waaaaay too big when they are conversation starters.
Somewhere in the future: By the end of this pregnancy you may want to invite me on any overseas flight you are planning to take. I think I may be used as a floatation device. Ugh.
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This morning: Just to make me feel better I am going to post the happiest picture I've seen in quite a while.
There. Just looking at that face makes me smile. Maybe life isn't so bad, after all.
10 comments:
After three kids my feet went from a size 7 to a size 8. it sucks.
I was going to say yes, I want to trade, but I really have no desire to be a size G. Good luck with that. I went to a DD when I was nursing, and shrunk so much that now I'm an A. I was a C before. It sucks. The crap the pregnancy does to your body.
And I seriously HATE arrogant, self righteous Cops who like to threaten you with sending you to jail, and tell you their "giving you a break" by not doing it.
What a jerk.
I have been in that exact situation before. My 5 yr old gets out of his seatbelt ALL the time. It's an ongoing battle.
Anyway, I hope your day gets better!
At least you've still got your funny going on, girl. You've definitely got your funny!
And I've got some good and bad news for you too. Which do you want first?!?!?! Okay, bad news: my feet when from an 8 1/2 to a TEN. Good news: You aren't alone!
Hang in there.
This is LOL funny. I'm so sorry to laugh at you. My feet went from a 7-8, but they also got wider. YUCK!!!
Sorry about the cop and the bra;) I hope things get better~ I know they will:)
A quick recap...
--Feet will go back into shoes
--Boobs will sag more but will go back to your favorite bra
--you will not feel the need to eat EVERYTHING forever!!!!
--you are making the most amazing baby boy .....
OH I want to have a very late birthday lunch... next week:)
Thanks!! Every time I read your blog you make me smile!!
you make me laugh! really hard sometimes! :)
Logan's hair is so pretty!
My feet grew a tiny bit after the first baby, but they sure did swell up with water.
I went through phases, from the swelling would go down at night, to only one foot would go down at night, to they went down just enough for me to put on my steel-toe boots for work. When I got home and took those off, boy was that just SO funny (she said sarcastically)--normalish feet and elephant ankles, that were quick to take advantage of the shoe blockage removal and spread to the feet.
It was so weird when the one foot would go back to normal and when I walked around, I could feel the water jiggling on the top of my foot--since I had the normal foot to compare it to.
I think I just wrote a POST, for crying out loud.
Oh hang in there girl! You da best!
You have a great sense of humor at least!
I got a ticket once while driving the preschool carpool and the kids all announced for weeks that I was almost thrown in jail (not true!). It was great to be the bad example in the object lesson....
LOL on the big boobs. Pregnancy and nursing definitely do nothing to help the ta-ta's. My feet were already huge before I got pregnant. If my feet had grown I would have had to start shopping at special shoe stores or resorted to wearing men's flip flops.
Hang in there!
Sorry about the rough pregnancy stuff. Just keep telling yourself that in 124 days (according to your widget), you won't be pregnant anymore and you'll have a baby! Anyway, I LOVE this picture of Logan. It definitely brightened up a gloomy day.
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