Sunday, October 26, 2008

No Mother Ever Wrote "Don't Worry Be Happy"

Despite all the happiness that motherhood can bring, worry can feel like a momma's full time job. Lately I have been worrying whether both of my kids are getting as much love and attention as they need.

My Logan is one of those kids that needs lots of validation and words of affirmation. She asks questions like, "What would you do without me? What if God hadn't sent me to you? How do I make you happy..." You get the idea. And because she asks, it's easy to wrap her up in words of love and affection, which is good because she needs it. Like air. And I can feel that it's making her strong.

But my Griffin would never, in a million years, think to ask questions like that. He's more interested in snuggling for a moment and then insisting that I watch him jump on one foot from one couch to another. "Mom! Mom! Watch me! Did you see that? Oh, wait. Watch again. I messed up. Look! Did you see me do that? Mom!..." That's the kind of attention he needs, but I've worried lately that I don't tell him enough what he means to me; so the other night when he wandered out of bed and found his way into my lap, I took the opportunity.

I rocked him for a few moments and then carried him back to bed. I leaned down close and stroked his hair. "Do you know how much mommy loves you, my prince? I love you with all my heart."

"I love you, too," came his sleepy reply.

"What would I do without you? You make my heart happy," I continued to whisper.

"Okay...can you go now?"

Wow! Just like that, he made all that worry seem nonsensical. Clearly his little ego is doing just fine!

But as I stifled a surprised giggle and stood to leave, I was reminded that being fair to my kids doesn't mean giving each of them the exact same thing, but giving each of them exactly what they need. My job is to be wise enough to know what that is. See? Now there is something else to worry about. Looks like I'm clocking back in.

10 comments:

Rochelleht said...

Oh, I LOVE it! HA HA!! I have totally had those moments. I'm feelin' it, they aren't! I pray all the time I'm giving them what they need. It's a 24/7.

The Leithead Family said...

Hi...my name is Catherine Leithead. You probably don't know who I am...I am from Lovell, WY. I came upon your blog and I love to read it! You are a wonderful mother and a great example...thanks!!

The Leithead Family said...

I am a Tippetts...that probably doesn't narrow it down much!! My parents are Rand and Anne Tippetts. I married Kyle Leithead, whose parents are Brent and Marla. I graduated in 1996. We have lived in Utah for the past 8 years and just moved back to Lovell. And you are right, it is nice to feel a connection with the people here. Thanks for your compliments! Happy blogging!

Megan B said...

You are a great Mama! And you are doing an amazing job.

Sher said...

So true! My oldest is so demanding, sometimes I feel like all I do it give her all the attention and the younger two are being neglected. And she still feels left out when they get attention. I find myself wondering what I'm doing wrong, and how can I possible do more to make her feel loved. I'm hoping it just a stage.

Amanda said...

In Dr. Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages of Children, he talks about physical touch being one of the five. When we think of physical touch as an expression of love we think snuggles, hugs & kisses.

Boys (who, of course still need snuggles, hugs and kisses) also register love through a playful slug on the arm, a tossle of the hair or a wrestling match on the living room floor.

Sometimes I can't get over the fact that by knocking Kirby down on the bed with a blow of a pillow is a display of affection for him.

Well, that and feeding him!

Sounds like Griffin is well secure with his place in your heart! :)

Madame Queen said...

Bubba is a lot like Griffin -- he needs visual affirmation. But you know, I'm still sort of figuring out just what it is that Punkin needs. I guess I just need to keep my eyes and my heart open and maybe I can figure it out.

mother of seven said...

I agree with 7 kids I see a huge difference with all of them. There need ae so different, but very much the same in the end.

I appreciate your stories. And Griffin is too cute!!!

Melissa said...

Griffin is so funny! Gottal love that kid. Okay, I will go now.

Celia Fae said...

Cute kids, adorable story. I love Griffin's red hair!

I'm an old friend of Thomas' and he directed me here. It's been fun to catch up on his life with your charming and well-written blog.