Wednesday, September 3, 2008

A Real Life Story from a Bad Mom Part II...Finally

If you have forgotten part I, (And who can blame you. It has been over a month!) You can read it here.

The plan was to get in and get out. I may be a bad mom, but I knew as much to go first thing in the morning or first thing after lunch to a free immunization clinic. Lots of kids and long lines are not my idea of a good time, except maybe at Disneyland, and even then it can push the upper limits of irritation. So after lunch, we headed over, and wouldn't you know? We were second in line two minutes before the door was unlocked. I can really be on top of things when I want to be. Then, thanks to my amazing form-filling-out skills I was able to beat it to the head of the line.

Things were looking good until I heard, "So...he'll be needing five shots today." I'm not sure if I heard judgement in her voice or if I was just projecting. At the time I leaned toward judgement, so I tried to respond lightly, with a bright, "Oh, okay!" as if this would be no problem-o, except inside I was cringing. Like, fold-in-on-yourself-until-your-outer-edges-meet-in-the-middle kind of cringing. I knew we were in trouble, and when I say we, I mean every human being within shouting distance. I had, after all, witnessed Griffin's first splinter months before.

It is an image I still can not get out of my brain. Mr. Wicke with tweezers suspended mid-air; Griffin writhing, twisting, screaming, kicking and sweating; Mr. Wicke trying to pin his shoulders with one hand and holding his arm between his knees; me on the other end attempting to restrain his legs; Logan peering wide-eyed around the corner, crying and begging us to, "Stop! Please stop hurting him;" Me yelling over the din, "We haven't even touched him yet!" I knew what we were in for, and it was definitely cringe-worthy.

I thought I might head it off at the pass. "Hey, buddy. This is going to hurt a little bit. Like five pinches in the arm--"

"Not me! I'm going to pretend like I'm crying and then I'll say, 'Just kidding!'"

"Mmm, hmm. Well, okay. I just need you to be a big brave boy for Mommy."

"Next!" the nurse called out. Now, not to add any pressure, mind you, but this was all going to take place in one big, open room. I saw the needles lined up on the desk, all five of them, and I began to pray that we were not going to horrify the other children and very possibly their parents. "Mom, you're going to need to hold him on your lap," the nurse instructed.

I sat down and pulled him to me saying, "You ready? Big, brave boy, remember."

He nodded and smiled...and then the needle hit his arm. Before she even started injecting, he had yanked his body away. With a look of utter surprise he began to wail, "I don't want to! I don't want to." Meanwhile I was attempting to subdue his arm and torso, but he is amazingly strong.

The nurse responded with a mix of perplexity and irritation. "You're going to have to hold him still."

What I wanted to say was, "Really?!" but what I actually said was, "Son. We have to do this. C'mon. Stop now," attempting somehow to bring him back from crazyville. It wasn't going to happen. I wrapped both my arms around his chest and flung one leg over his trying to pin him down. The nurse tried again, but he jerked away nearly toppling us both out of the chair. I watched as a thick drop of blood ran down his arm. Then she looked at me like, "Now what are you going to do?" And I looked at her like, "Me?! You're the pro here. What are we going to do?"

She sighed deeply. At least I think so. I was having a hard time hearing over the screaming. "Liz. We're going to need some help here."

Finally, with the assistance of "Liz" and another brave soul who joined the fray, we were able to keep him still enough for the shots. Three in one arm, two in the other. What we couldn't control was his wailing, which increased in volume and intensity with each poke.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his sister start to crumble. She covered her face and began to wail, too. I couldn't do much except throw some reassurance in her direction. "Logan, he's just fine. It will be over in a minute."

And it was. Well, at least the shot part. The recovery took a little longer. First I wiped the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand and pushed the hair out of my eyes, and then I grabbed the children and high-tailed it out the back door with nothing more than a, "Sorry. Really sorry. Thanks so much."

Outside, with only the wide sky peering at us, I knelt down and pulled them both into my arms. "It's alright. We're okay now..."I soothed.

"I hate shots!" Logan declared.

"I know, guys. But we're all done with them now. We won't have to get any more for a long, long time. And besides we are so grateful that they can keep us from getting really sick..." What four year old cares about polio and HepB, anyway? It's hard to explain.

"Carry me," Griffin insisted. Apparently all of his limbs were rendered non-functioning: He also refused to lift his arms for the rest of the day. I scooped him up and tried to calm his ragged breathing on the way to the car. "It's all over now." And man, was I glad! I nearly wanted to burst into tears, too.

But then, like every other bad mom in America I said, "Who wants ice cream? And Griffin, you can get anything you want!"

14 comments:

Madame Queen said...

Bubba was supposed to get 5 plus his flu shot at his last visit, but they felt 6 might be too much so we did three and a finger prick in one visit. Oddly enough, it was the finger prick that sent him over the edge! I don't think there was any way we could have done 6!

Elder Nicholas Sinks said...

Poor boy:( My kids hate shots too, and I would love to tell you it gets easier. They are 14 and 12, and every fall the dreaded flu shot causes so much havic at our home. You would think I have asked them to cut off their arm or something. Good Luck in the future;)

Melissa said...

Let me just say - I am so glad the days of getting 5 shots at a time are OVER! Now it's just the occasional booster - yeah!

Hamilton Family said...

Wait....you left a cliff hanger! So, what kind of ice cream did Griff get? Thanks for a good laugh! I love how you put into words the whole feeling of the experience! Boy, can I relate! Hip, Hip, Hooray for Bad Moms!

Susan said...

Hi Laurel, I found your blog in a round about way and have enjoyed it immensely. By the way, congratulations on your baby and I sure hope you are feeling better. Cyndi was my best friend growing up in Cowley but I was gone by the time you came along. Your story of the shot reminds me of your uncle Joe. Our moms took all of us kids to the Dr. for the polio shot when they first came out. He tried talking his way out of it at first, but it soon became a battle of wills, with the doctor, nurse and our moms chasing him around the office. One of my more vivid memories of childhood. Anyway, just wanted to say hi.

Susan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Susan said...

I should have told you my name...
Susan Nicholls :)

Erin said...

James only had to get one shot and they called in back up. She screamed and cried and moved in ways I have never seen before. I think 4 and 5 is the worst age for shots.

Megan B said...

So so funny and so so true to my life! Morgan got her "Kindergarten" shots early and before the nurse even came in the room I decided it would be a good idea to prep her. BAD BAD BAD IDEA! She started WAILING just at the THOUGHT of having SHOTS! Not to mention what happened when the shots actually arrived and THEN were applied! Scary scene. Luckily we were enclosed in a doctor's office and not in a clinic. Next time, NO WARNING!

Betsy said...

Yay! Laurel's back! And you're probably not such a bad mom.

Kyle said...

Oh dang it...does getting ice cream for my kids make me a bad mom? I thought that was the good mom thing to do, right?
That story is funny! I love how Logan was crying also...cute!

"The Queen in Residence" said...

You did just what I do, after trauma ice cream IS the cure-all. So sorry that you had to go through that and five needles. Have they not hear of the double or triple shots here folks. One needle 3 immunizations.

So glad that you survived and are back to blogging, you were missed.

Shana said...

Tell Grif that I feel his pain!
I HATE SHOTS TOO! Taking your kids for shots is even worse!
We are still in the stage where all the shots go to the thighs. So, I have to hold down Alyssa legs so she doesn't kick the poor nurses. I did that as a child you know? Kicked a nurse right in the stomach! Not one of the most proud moments for my mom I'm sure.
I'm excited for you guys going to Disneyland. We so want to do that too- but are waiting until kids are a lot older first! I think it would be hell if we tried going at this point of life.
Love ya!

Karen Nihipali Wicke said...

Bad moms!!! Yahoo.,,if it wasn't for them there would be no AWESOME kids!
You crack me up with the most perfect details of your writing.
Thanks for sharing.

Karen