Cleaning the Shower Gone Wrong...Terribly Wrong

First you've got to understand that the most embarrassing moments in my life don't happen because I'm not thinking. I mean the general observer might conclude that I'm simply addle-brained, but such is not the case. The truth is that I am often so focused on the task at hand that I miss the larger picture. That's when things can go seriously wrong for me.

Case in point: A few years ago, back in the childless years, Thomas and I were relishing a quiet Saturday. I had slept late and enjoyed a good breakfast. By late morning I was ready to jump in the shower and get started on my day. Being a working gal, Saturday was generally my cleaning day, and there was much to do.

After disrobing and stepping foot in the shower, I decided my first task should begin immediately with a good bathtub scrubbing because, as everyone knows, the best way to clean the shower is while you are in it. That way you don't have to worry about leaning way over, dragging your shirt through the cleanser, or getting your clothes wet. The only problem was that the cleanser was down the hall in the laundry closet and I was naked, but a little thing like that doesn't stop me.

After all, we lived in a two story walk up. No one walking by would see me, and we rarely got unexpected visitors. Besides, it was literally three steps away; the only other person around was Thomas, and he's seen me naked plenty. Moreover, now I was in a hurry. The day was wasting, and I had a lot to do. I was focused.

I was also horrified when, as I was reaching on tip toe to grab the cleanser, I heard a knock on the door. With a quick turn of the head I saw through our large picture window two dark-suited men standing at our door. I'm fairly certain I made eye contact with one of them, but the details are fuzzy at best. Nonetheless, if they had not yet seen me, it didn't take long after my blood-curdling scream.

I hit the deck and broke all world records in the army crawl screaming incoherently all the way. "Thomas! Thomas! I think the missionaries are at the door--and they saw me NAKED!" I made it to the study and crawled onto the futon where I assumed the fetal position and covered myself with the throw pillows yelling the entire time, "They saw me NAKED! I know it--I was getting the cleanser, and I heard the knock, and I was NAKED!--And they're still there! I can't face them! Naked?! Arghh!"

"Shhh!"

"But I was NAKED!"

He waved his hand at me, dismissing my crazy tirade, and walked down the hall toward the door.

Now, talking only to myself, I said, "We'll have to move. I can not face the missionaries at church after they've seen my NAKED! Why does this happen? NAKED?? In front of the missionaries?!..."

Thomas reentered with one of those knowing smirks. "Well, the good news is it wasn't the missionaries, but I think you gave the Jehovah's' Witnesses quite a show." In his hand he held The Watchtower.

For whatever reason they never came back.

As for me, I've stopped walking around the house in my birthday suit for any reason at all, but I still believe the best way to clean the shower is while you are in it. I simply keep cleanser in every bathroom now. Just a little tip to keep you focused.