No Time for Thinking

I would love to write a "deep thoughts" post because, joyfully, I have actually had two deep thoughts in the last couple of months. (A rare occurance since bringing baby home.) But, sadly, writing anything thought provoking would take too much time, and I have more pressing matters, like the crying baby who just woke up from his nap, the spitup I cleaned off my shoulder earlier this morning, the dustballs under my bookshelves, the unmade beds in my children's room, and the little spot that I just noticed on my shirt that could very well be baby poop. See why a deep thought would be a welcome change around here? Oh well. Maybe later.

That Pain in my Neck

Thanks for the inquiries regarding my back situation. The official word is that I herniated a disk in my lower neck. (I believe it was between the c5 and c6 vertebrae) The pain in my shoulder and arm is coming from a pinched nerve. The good news is that it will heal. The bad news is that it will take 3-6 months.

However, I am already on the road to recovery. How do I know? Because that constant, radiating, horrid pain is vastly better. I have to be careful not to overdo because then I pay for it a bit, but otherwise I am doing very well. Off all the pain meds now, which is indicative in and of itself.

I have to give a lot of the credit to my brother-in-law, Doug, who is a physical therapist and did some kind of voodoo that he do so well on our trip to the lake. I came home feeling miraculously healed, but in addition to the magic he performed, he gave me some exercises to do, which I know have been helping.

Now, thanks to you, Mr. Magic Hands, when I refer to the pain in my neck, I'll only be referring to my children. Just kidding.

Back Update

You people are nice. Thanks for your concern about my recent back trouble. Yesterday I spent 4 hours at the imaging place. 4 HOURS!!! Ugh. By the time I left I was starving and my nursing breasts were about to explode! I didn't know who to feed first, myself or my baby. My stomach won. But, in my own defense they haven't created nursing drive-thrus.

Anyway, now that it's done, I will see the orthopedist today at 11. I'm hoping something can be done for the pain. Please!

Owwie

If you are the kind of person who can't stand to hear someone complain, you might as well stop reading right now because I have a suspicion that there will be some complaining in this post. You see, the thing is, I hurt.

What started out as a strained muscle, or so I thought, has turned into what the orthopedist thinks might be a bulging disk and a pinched nerve. We won't know much until after the MRI and X-ray tomorrow. I just want an answer. No. What I really want is to feel better. Sometimes I hurt so bad that it makes me think long and hard on those people with chronic pain. With no end in sight, I can see why some would contemplate putting an end to themselves. I'm not saying I would, but I can understand turning those dark thoughts over every now and again. I pray I am never in such a condition. As it is I am having a difficult time controlling my temper. Pain makes me grouchy.

This has been going on for over a month now and just gets worse despite whatever efforts I've made to improve it. Stretching, massage therapy, chiropractics--nothing seems to help and sometimes I wonder if I'm merely aggravating it. Rest would probably be best, but how am I supposed to care for a baby without a lot of lifting? I saw a documentary once about a mother with no arms. She used her feet to do everything, but I bet that would take a lot of practice. I probably shouldn't try it with the baby right away.

To add insult to injury, I'm not sleeping well. For the last couple of weeks I have awakened every morning somewhere between 3:30 and 5:00 am with such tremendous pain that I've had to run for my meds. Then I've iced my neck and shoulder, waiting the half hour until they kick in. I'm not too proud to admit that on at least three occasions I have been reduced to tears during this period. I don't enjoy it. Mr. Wicke doesn't either, I am sure.

And don't get me started on the kiddos. They don't have a bit of empathy, but who can blame them? I sound like a worn out record. At the beginning of the pregnancy they heard, "Mommy doesn't feel well." Then during the last few months of the pregnancy it was "Mommy doesn't feel well." And then when I came home from the hospital "Mommy didn't feel well again." Then for the next few weeks mommy was just "so tired." And now this? I don't even think they remember when their mommy was fun and vibrant. Shoot. I don't remember the last time I felt vibrant.

See? I told you there would be some complaining. You're lucky it hurts to sit for very long.

The Cheese for my Whine

I assume people are getting sick of my whining about morning sickness. I assume as much because I am getting sick of my own whining. Sadly, I think God is sick of it, too, because Saturday I was struck with an illness the likes of which I have not seen for many a year. I think it was His way of saying, "Okay, you big baby. You think you're miserable? I'll show you miserable."

His prescription:
Day One and Two: A throat so sore I avoided talking. (That means it was really sore.)

Day Three and Four: Congestion that caused dry lips from all that mouth breathing and a raw and chapped nose from constant blowing. Body aches and headaches that triggered crazy thoughts about disconnecting some parts of said body. A fever that made my eyeballs feel hot. Chills. And coughing that triggered my gag reflex.

I was pretty sexy as you can imagine.

Day Five: Renewed gratitude for simple nausea. Complete happiness regarding minor things like unencumbered breathing, the physical ability to bathe, dress and do dishes. Joy in going outside, and appreciating the energy to play with my kids. And most importantly: No more whining.

I get it already!

P.S. I have amazing friends who brought me food, Tylenol cold medicine (doctor approved of course), cleaned my house, and let my children come over to play. I would never, ever whine about you! You all are the best!!!