Wisdom from the Wise Old Owl

Grandma and Grandpa Doty with their 5 children. (My mother is the ever-so-cute blond on the right.)

Grandma and her eldest son outside their first house in the oil fields of McFadden, WY.

Grandma and Grandpa's original house in Byron, WY. They lived there for 6 years until Grandpa finished the "big" house 1938.

Grandma and friends knitting.

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I have always admired my Grandma Doty. She knew how to do just about everything it seemed to me. But then again she had to. She raised a family of 5 during the depression, and despite a hardworking husband, they didn't have much unless they provided it themselves. She had chickens, a cow, and a garden. Most of what they ate was provided by the sweat of their own brows. Grandma made bread, butter, jams, jellies, and fruit leather. She canned and dried fruits and vegetables. She knew how to sew, and made almost all of her children's clothing. She quilted, tatted, crocheted, and knitted.

Nothing went to waste at grandma's house. She saved everything--including rainwater. I remember the big wooden barrel outside her door, waiting to capture every drop the spring storms deposited. She swore that using rainwater for a shampoo made for the softest and silkiest hair.

"Waste not, want not" was her mantra and one that she took seriously. Her grandchildren were instructed to "eat the apples off of the ground first!" but most of us snuck a few of the bright, crisp green apples from the tree anyway. And oh, how good those apples were.

One of our favorite treats was the dried apples she would make. Miraculously her stock was never low even though most of us would eat ourselves sick on nearly every visit despite her warnings of possible stomachaches. They were such a favorite that we looked forward to their addition to our Christmas stockings even into our adulthood.

As Grandma got older, her resources dwindling and her progeny growing ever greater, she began to give gifts of the heart rather than the wallet. One year she wrote us this:

"It has been suggested that I give advice...on what? And why? Because I am old and supposed to be wise about a number of things as the wise old owl?...Well, I am not that "wise old owl"...all wise, but I will give a few ideas that I have learned over the years, and I hope it will be of benefit to someone.

"I have always enjoyed teaching, whether in a class or in the home. What I have learned and the knowledge I have gained I have always wanted to share with others. Have I done that? If the student has not learned, then I, the teacher have failed. I have taught sewing, knitting, crocheting, tatting and quilting. I know some who have gained and are using these skills, but have I taught the gospel? I have tried...Let me go over the steps to gain the knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

1. I suggest prayer. This is the first step in learning of our Father in Heaven.

2. Read the scriptures daily. Many problems can be solved through this habit.

3. Live the commandments and you will know for yourself the truth of each principle you live."

She was and continues to be a grand example of faith, and her faithful life was part of the bedrock of my personal relationship with God. Of all that I gained from her, I consider that her greatest contribution, and I think it is the thing that would please her most as well. She wanted each of us to live well, and that meant living right. None of us had any doubt about her opinions. She was not shy about about sharing her perspective, but I must admit, some of the best advice I've ever gotten was from her. Here are some of the things she told me that I remember most:

From my teenage years: "If you find your toes being stepped on a lot, you might want to pull them in."

From my early marriage: "Make your words soft and sweet. You never know when you'll have to eat them."

Regarding parenting: "Teaching begins with the baby. Of course, the baby teaches us, too. The most important thing, I think, in training children is to stick to the things you say. Never say a no or yes unless it is followed up on. Once you make a decision follow through and hold to it. You can never go wrong by giving a youngster lots of love and kisses mixed with discipline. Child training is merely knowing which end of your child to pat...and when."

Clearly my Grandmother was not a romantic or a dreamer. No, she would best be described as pragmatic, a realist and do-er by nature and by way of life, but those qualities served her well. She did not merely survive; she triumphed. Living to the ripe age of 102, she was a source of inspiration to four generations of children. There was nothing weak about Grandma Doty, and I find it amazing that I continue to draw from her well of strength though she has been gone these last seven years.

When things get a little tough, I consider the events of her life and get to work. She was fond of saying, "You kids get married and think you have to have everything right away! What you don't realize is that it took your parents years and years to get what they've got." When my wants get ahead of my needs, I hear her voice in my head. When money is a little tight, I think of her ingenuity and find a way to make do and make it better with a little bit of elbow grease. She taught me that there is nothing I can't learn to do if I'm willing to put forth the effort.

And so last Thursday, I learned to can. Well, make that re-learn. I canned with my mother when I was a girl, but somewhere around 1981 my mom lost that Mormon mojo. (Mormons and canning is a another post altogether.) So when I found out my friend Angie (who may need professional help with her aversion to having her picture taken) was canning apples, I invited myself over, and look what we Mollies accomplished:

Final total: 48 quarts of apples

I even pulled out my dehydrator and dried apples (most of which I have eaten single handily. And for the record, I did give myself a stomachache one night.)

On Monday, I tried to finish off the 2 ginormous boxes of apples by canning apple pie filling. Final total: 11 quarts, 1 very messy house, and 1 tired mama. Can you read my eyes in that photo? I think they are saying, "When will the project ever be finished?"

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Despite the mess and the exhaustion, it was a wonderful experience to be reminded of the amazing women who came before me, who blessed me with their sacrifice, experience, and knowledge. I hope I have inherited some of their magic, and I hope, one day, to be worthy of them. Thank you, Grandma, and until I see you again, I will strive to make you proud.