Tuesday, March 2, 2010

PMS and Scheduling Conflicts

I'm a little blue, and when I get a little blue I question things.  Poor Mr. Wicke may feel like he's taking part in the Spanish Inquisition at moments like this.  But it doesn't matter.  Not to someone who is a little blue.  So last night, while I reclined on the sofa in front of the TV and he was in the kitchen making hot fudge sundaes for both of us (because the only answer to PMS is chocolate) I say:  We don't seem to be really connected right now.

Mr. Wicke says:  Well, he doesn't say anything really.  (When my non-hormonal, non-PMS-ing brain is in charge, I am fully aware that men don't really know what to make of words like "connection."  Did I mention I'm a little blue?)

Mr. Wicke tries to respond:  Hmmm...

So I say:  Are you having an affair?

To which Mr. Wicke:  laughs.  Uproariously.

To which I say:  What?  What's so funny about that?  You could, you know.  And then I'd be one of those women whose husband's sneeking around and I wouldn't even know.  (Except that he works from home and I see him, like, 20 hours a day.  But STILL!)

Mr Wicke responds with:  I can't even imagine the time it would take to organize the details of such a--

Me:  So!  ('Cause now I'm really on a roll.)  You're saying that your faithfulness to me has nothing to do with love but is more of a scheduling problem?

Mr. Wicke:  laughs again.

Me:  Like...if you had more time you would be all over that?

Mr. Wicke:  (handing me a bowl full of ice cream heaven) You are ridiculous.

Me:  So, if the day ever comes when you actually have a hobby, that's when I should worry?

We laughed a little bit more and then turned on 24 because every happily married couple knows the real secret to staying connected is watching Jack Bauer save the world.  The hot fudge and couch snuggling did the trick, and I went to bed a happily connected wife. 

Then, this morning I say, as per our usual discussion once the kids are out the door:  What's on your agenda today?

Mr. Wicke responds:  Well, surprisingly, it looks like the afternoon's kinda' freeing up.

Nobody knows how to cheer me up like he does.  Chocolate and humor are cures to all that ails me.

8 comments:

tawnya said...

That? At the end? Is the PERFECT response...

Hamilton Family said...

So, how many evenings a month do you have ice cream sundaes?

Erin said...

I'm glad to hear it is kind of normal to ask your husband that. It comes around once a month for me too. The questioning things, not asking Bill if he is having an affair.

Stacey said...

WOW!! He made HUGE points!

Jennifer said...

I think it's the time of year. February and March drag on and hold Spring right in front of your face, taunting you. Hang in there!

Ella said...

I love you Laurel - you keep things so real and that is so refreshing! I've had a similar conversation or two with my husband. Especially after a co-worker kept asking him to lunch - I mean, BACK OFF lady. And then I sort of fantasize about being Ava and beating up Blackie (love the part where she tells her to open the door and take her beating or she's going to hack it down and then beat her and it won't be good if she has an ax in her hand). But in reality, all we need over here is some ice cream. David LOVES ice cream, but I have a hard time eating it when it's cold outside. Maybe I'll work harder at enjoying it during these cold months - or maybe I'll convince him that jalapeno cheese dip is better during the winter months. :)

Sara said...

love this post. we've all been there.

Audrey said...

Ha! You two are so silly. I can so hear him roaring with laughter at that one.