Thursday, February 7, 2008

Sew What?

Today I'm sewing, and I hate sewing. It makes me grouchy. So grouchy, in fact, that my friend told me I should try to limit my swearing on this current project to five curse words. So far I've used two.

I'm not bragging. Believe me this is not something I am proud of, but sewing makes me crazy. Like foaming at the mouth, pulling out my hair, nuts.

Poor Mr. Wicke. You can imagine his horror when he sees me haul out the sewing machine. Inwardly he must be cringing, but outwardly he is stoic, even when this goes down:

Mr. Wicke: Is there anything I can do to help?

Madwoman: (armed with a seam ripper) Just stay away from me! I mean it!

Mr. Wicke: (backing slowly towards the door and shepherding the children behind him) Okay, okay...We'll just be in the next room if you needs us...

Madwoman: Fine, fine...(and with more twitching and incomprehensible muttering she turns back to her work.)

So why do I do it, you may ask. Because I want pretty things in my house that I can't afford to buy. *@#% budget! Ah, nuts. Three down, two to go.

12 comments:

Chester The Bear said...

I wish I'd learned to sew. It's always been one of those things on my very long list of things I'd like to have done but never did.

I tried once. Dad used to own a clothing factory and during school holidays, I'd go there and watch all the women hard at work. They made it look so easy. One night, after they'd gone home, I tried it. Ouch. I think I sewed my finger to something, and those industrial strength machines pack a punch. Dad said sewing was "women's work" (he was from a different time) so that was about it.

So next time you haul out that machine, at least be thankful you know how to use it.

Lauren said...

LOL! Well..take pictures of what you create...Im anxious to see!! Oh!! and how did the painting project go?

Megan B said...

Why don't you do a trade with your friend and have HER sew it??? That's what I would do.

Megan B said...

Ya know...make her a blog or something???

Aubrey said...

That sounds like me--all of it. Hating to sew, swearing about it, but considering it a necessary evil to get nice things in my house for cheaper.
What are you making? Will we get to see the end result? And, I wanted to see the result of the painting project too!
By the way, thanks for the instructions on how to link things. I have yet to use them, but I'm positive that I will because they were great!

Amanda said...

At least you DO sew. I can't even put a button on. When I lose a button, I buy a new shirt.

I'd love to see pics of your project though! :)

Elisa said...

Wow. You actually know HOW to use that contraption?! My husband bought me one for Christmas one year, and I don't even know how to turn it on, let alone put the thread in there you need to make the stuff stick together... i mean. Isn't that what glue is for? Wow. I'm almost jealous. Not quite, but almost!
Thanks for writing stuff that makes me smile!

mother of seven said...

Laurel this is Jodi... I don't think you give yourself enough credit. Oh by the way I decided to give blogging a try. Found your blog in amongst others and decided your blog was worth getting up each day for(LOL) ok ...seriously you are hilarious. I LOve your curtains short,long,pieced or whatever!!!!!Hopefully you finished your project under the 5 limit swearing:) Have a good one

Kyle said...

I am seriously the same way with sewing...I want it to be so perfect and I make myself crazy! But I am always so proud when I am finished! Good luck and you'll have to post the finished product :)
Kyle

Madame Queen said...

My mom once tried to teach me to sew. It was not pretty. As I was struggling with a seam, my husband said "I thought this was supposed to be fun" I yelled "I'm HAVING fun!" as I threw my creation across the room. So, um, yeah, not so much of a sewer.

BUT I would kill to know how.

Rochelleht said...

HA HA HA HA HA! I so am with ya, sister!

Melissa said...

That is so funny. But it's worth it because your house is beautiful!!