Advice from a Veteran of the Trenches

Our Crazy Family (minus my big sister)

Sorry I didn't get to posting this earlier. Logan and my mom are both sick today. Boo hoo!

Anyway, I thought it would be fun and maybe educational to interview my mother while she was here. The focus of the interview was motherhood, and I tape recorded the whole thing, which will be a keepsake in years to come, I'm sure, but I also learned a few things in the process, the first of which is that my mother is pretty chatty! We talked for nearly an hour. The other highlights I will post here over the next few days. Here is the first:

On Gestation
First of all, how many children do you have?

I have seven. 5 boys and 2 girls.

And you haven't killed any of them?

Up to the present time, no.

So if you added up all the years that you were pregnant, how many would that be?

Well, let's see...7 times 9 is...is...63 divided by 12 is...hmmm...is about 6 years, right?

I don't know; I need a calculator. As a matter of fact I'm blaming my lack of math skills on--

Me?

On you. Yeah. We'll come back to that math question in a few minutes. So does that freak you out, when you think of spending that many years pregnant?

Well, actually, I felt like I was pregnant most of the time, for the first...um...20 years of my marriage.

(Laughter)

Did you enjoy being pregnant?

Well, actually, I was very ill for the first few months with every one of my children...

So...you're saying you didn't enjoy that.

And of course, I carried all of my children way out in front of me, so it wasn't what I'd call the most pleasant experience, BUT it was worth it because I love all of my children, every single one of them.

You don't have to say that because I'm sitting here.

I don't. That's a fact.

On Really Knowing Your Kids
So...which one of your children is the biggest disappointment?

(Laughter...coughing) I've had no disappointment in my children because I'm very proud of them--

Oh, mom! You don't have to--

Let, let, let me just tell you--

C'mon...we all know Curt's a little disappointing.

I--(laughter)--I must tell you that when I think about my children I'm so grateful. They are upstanding, honest--fine upstanding citizens--they all have a good work ethic--

Can you be sure of that?

Well, I--

Has it ever occured to you that maybe they're, maybe they're lying to you?

I see them. Their lives have proved it out and that's a fact.

But everyone says that about a mass murderer, too. If you ever interview their family or neighbors they're like, "I can't believe it."

Well, nobody's killed anybody yet.

That you know of.

Well, RIGHT! I think I would know it.(Laughter)

More on Gestation
So, let's go back to the beginning. Did you figure out how many years you were pregnant?

5 years and 2 months.

Wow. That's a long time.

Yes. A long time...to be large.

On Handling Surprises
Alright. Do you remember when you were a young mother? Can you remember all the way back there?

Just barely.

Okay...what was the biggest suprise to you in mothering? Were you surprised by anything?

Actually, we never had ultrasounds so we never knew the sex of our child until they were born, and my first child was a girl, and I wanted her to have a sister so bad and every time I'd go to the hospital I'd have a boy and her daddy would say, "Would you be too disappointed if it was another boy?" And she'd say, "No...I guess not." And so I had 5 boys in a row. And then, when I finally gave birth to my last child and it was a girl, my oldest one was married.

Alright, alright. Now you're kind of putting a happy face on that. It a well known fact, public knowledge even, that you did not want me.

Oh, jeeze! (Laughter)

Now c'mon..

Oh, you are laying the guilt on me, I tell you what!

Mother?

I must tell you--

Mother! Did you or did you not want me?

Could I tell you the circumstances--

No! Just answer the question. Did you or did you not want me?

I felt that--

Mother! Answer the question!

Shh! After my fifth child I thought that my family was complete. So I was quite surprised--

That would be the sixth child...You're saying Curt wasn't wanted either!(Loud laughter.) Now he's really going to be mad!

After my fifth BOY I thought my family was complete, so I was surprised when Heavenly Father sent me a little girl.

Mom!!! You are making this out to be--

I've got to tell you something--

--much more pleasant than it--Did you cry? Did you cry when you found out you were pregnant with me? Yes or no.

Yes.

Did you want me? Yes or no.

Well...

Mother? Yes or no.

...After I got used to the idea.
(Loud laughter.)