Slip Slidin' Away

My brain is slippery right now. Really, really slippery. Like a plate too full at a buffet, important things slide off without notice. Things I would really like to delve into and enjoy. Things that are important to me. Things that are important to other people, too.

It's embarrassing.

If you can't reach me on my home phone, it's because I can't find it. And if I can't find it long enough it runs out of battery and I really can't find it. If you can't reach me on my cell phone it's because I turned it to vibrate two weeks ago in either a movie or church (the only two places of quiet in my life) and I've forgotten to turn it back on. Without it ringing I can't find it either. If I forget to show up at a meeting, it's because I forgot. It slipped right out of this slippery brain; I'd find it, but I've forgotten to look.

Truth be told, I'm still adjusting to this tiny world of babyhood. My entire life has shrunk to fit inside these four walls where baby reigns supreme. The clock and calendar no longer rule my life. No, it is all about nap times and feeding times. Everything else must fit into the two hours between because brother and sister come home after that, and then the real fun begins. One day blends into the next, and sometimes I am surprised when the weekend comes.

Time has never been my strong suit, admittedly. My brain doesn't function in those strict parameters where activities must fit between the hands of the clock. Not an advantage in our culture, by the way. I have learned coping mechanisms, but those disappear during major life changes. My brain gets slippery.

For me, babyhood is all encompassing. Nothing is mine. Not my time, my body, my energy, my will. He needs it all. It doesn't last long. Already he is beginning to sleep. Oh, blessed sleep. His schedule is becoming consistent, and I am beginning to catch up. Beginning to find my way in this new life.

But only beginning...because I am still slipping every now and again.