Lord of the Flies

The flies in Arizona this spring are out of control. I don't know the reason for the increase, but our friends agree that they are much worse than our previous two springs, and their sheer mass has turned my adorable hubby into the door nazi.

Now, he has always had a thing with lights. In the evening we live like vampires, and I swear, if it were feasible, we would be going all Abraham Lincoln and live by the dim light of one candle. Currently that passion has been transferred to the sliding backdoor. "Close the door! Griff, get the door! Close the door behind you! What is so hard about closing the door?" Boom, slam, bang, shut.

I must have caught the door obsession too because I was aghast when I stumbled downstairs in my bathrobe one morning to find the front door blown wide open. "How long has that been open?" I mumbled as I took care of it, feeling proud that I was surely saving my family from an onslaught of nasty pests.

On hearing the door close, Thomas emerged from his office. "Did you know the door was wide open?" I asked.

"Yeah, there's a really nice breeze this morning."

Huh? The breeze immediately increased due to the whiplash of my brain. "Do you want a house full of flies?" I querried.

With sincere earnestness he replied, "I've never seen a fly come through the front door."

I guess this particular species of housefly is very informal.