There are Some Things You Wish You'd Never Seen

Over the July 4th weekend I saw something that has been haunting me ever since. Literally. Haunting me: I dream about it, I keeping thinking about it. It was so horrifying it has actually changed my behavior, and that is no small task.

What in the world was it, you may be asking. Well, folks, it was a little BBC program called "Britain's Worst Teeth." I know. You probably think I'm overreacting, but even typing the title makes my stomach turn. I'm not kidding.

I really don't think you can imagine just how revolting this program was. I didn't. See, it all started out like this kind of funny little thing. Our friends happened to mention, "The other night we taped this show called Britain's Worst Teeth. You have got to see it!"

"They did an entire show about Britain's teeth? What's going on over there? Hahahaha..."

I mean, I've heard some jokes about the Brits, and I thought we were going to be looking at some jacked up mouths that needed braces or something, but I had no idea. I couldn't fathom the true offensiveness of this program. I didn't understand that I would be able to actually view only half of the show because during the other half I would have to close my eyes. Tightly. I also didn't know how badly I would want to rid my brain of the images I did see. Like this one:



Sorry. But I had to make you understand. Now, times that by 60 minutes and three other mouths.

Don't think I haven't been brushing and flossing like a maniac. My teeth have never been cleaner.

But here's the best part, our kids saw it, too. It's the best cavity prevention program out there. If it weren't for the emotional skid mark it left on my psyche, I'd suggest you watch it today. As it is, I'll just warn you. View at your own peril.

Woo Hoo!

You know where I will be tonight!

If you are not familiar with the best show on television, please do yourself a favor:Run to your nearest Blockbuster, right this minute, and rent all available seasons. You will thank me.

And if you are not a "Lostie," well, I absolutely do not know what to say. We can still be friends, but I may never look at you the same way. (And you thought we Mormons took our religion seriously!)

A Packed Schedule

I have been bad all day. What I was supposed to be doing was packing and tying up all the loose ends before I leave tomorrow for a 3 week trip to Wyoming, but what I've been doing is...well, anything else. I DID get my dvr cleared so that I won't miss any scheduled recording while I am gone. VERY important. And I did see a couple, okay--a few, episodes of "Hey, Paula." Which has me completely persuaded that she does, indeed, have a drug problem of some sort. I'm just saying! She acts a little...odd?...most of the time.

Where was I? Oh, right! All the important things I've been doing to get ready for my trip.

Yeah, that's about it. I am half packed, so that is something. I asked Thomas what my problem was. He is sure it is an avoidance issue. Like if I put it off long enough somehow I will get out the 21 hour drive, alone, with two small children whose favorite pastime is irritating one another. I don't know what he's talking about! Why would I want to avoid that?

Ooh, look! "Flip That House" marathon. Gotta go.