This One's for the Moms

Most days I feel like I'm waging a losing battle.

1.  Teaching/getting/cajoling/forcing the kids to stop bickering...lost battle.

2.  Convincing/forcing Griffin to stop arguing with me...lost battle.

3.  Keeping a clean house...lost battle.

4.  Keeping my cool...lost battle.

I say this out loud because I think most moms feel this way.  Even when we are doing a pretty good job.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think, "That could have gone better," or  "I could have handled that better."  And I think we need to say that out loud so that we don't feel like we are all alone.  So that we know that struggling is just part of the gig.

And just because we lose some/a lot of the battles doesn't mean we'll lose the war.  I really believe that if kids know they are loved, deeply, deeply loved, just about eveything else is forgivable. 

And I love my kids. 

And I know you do, too.

Hero Watching

After yesterday's post, I thought we needed something a bit more inspiring. This is a poem I wrote a number of years ago now. I was in the middle of struggling with our infertility but was surrounded by amazing moms who also happened to be my amazing friends. On the day they joined us for the legal adoption of our little girl, I gave them a copy as a thank you for standing with and by me and for inspiring me with examples of the kind of mother I wanted to be.

I still like it, and I think it applies to every woman who is doing the hard work of really mothering. My hat's off to you!

for my sister-friends of Irvine
November 3, 2000

She doesn't know she is a hero.
Minute to minute of everyday life--
wiping runny noses
soothing broken hearts.
Putting the toys away
to take them out
and put them back again.
Peanut butter sandwiches
with the crusts cut off,
but he wanted corn dogs...
and apples with no peel.
She's tired today,
patiently explaining obedience--
again.
She doesn't feel like a hero,
more like a referee--
"Was she playing with it first?"
"Let's take turns."
"You can not tie people up without their permission."
She doesn't know she is a hero.
There are no awards
for outstanding service.
There's no spotlight or applause
and a few
with shallow hearts
tell her she is selling herself short
when she could do so much more...
What more is to be done than
creating a world of beauty and wonder
everyday
in a child's eyes?
She doesn't know,
but I watch her in amazement
as she invests all she is
in building a spirit
from the ground up
in partnership with God,
and I am grateful
that I recognize
a hero.